Monthly Archives: January 2012

My thoughts about Meditation

A few years ago, for me the word “meditation” was for those spiritual gurus living in their own bubble far from the real world.

But the universe had other plans for me, opening the door for a self discovery path. This is when I started to realize how shallow my judgments were. My thoughts about meditation were completely distorted. Enjoying a quiet mind was the simple message from this practice. And how a quiet mind can enhance the quality of your life.

So I found myself interested in practicing this exercise that would bring me peace of mind. Starting with 5 minutes of sitting in a quiet room with soothing music in the background, the experience was not so bad! Actually the mind didn’t like it that much, but something deeper (I don’t know what to call it) was enjoying the process…
One year later I got introduced to Transcendental Meditation. A program of 20 minutes practiced twice per day. I gladly welcomed it and was lucky to have gone through deep states of pure quietness. Yet the mind didn’t appear to have been enjoying as such and declared WAR. In this particular time I was  facing some problems in my relationship where anxiety and stress took the leading roles. Meditating started to become a painful process where feelings of resistance and fear were exaggerated. Hiding away was my reaction, and I stopped meditating.

I released my mind struggle yet that “thing” inside of me that enjoyed the whole experience the very 1st time I tried it didn’t disappear. Actually it started to resonate in my heart begging me to give it another shot.

Several months passed by with me ignoring the voice. However I knew I’d come back. And I did. And it got better.

The secret was simply letting go off all my expectations, embracing the experience as it is even with the mind chatter. Today I meditate once per day for 20 minutes. And it feels good.


Postponing Happiness

I’m not Happy… I’m not Happy because my life is a mess, I can’t achieve my goals, I have debts, I live from paycheck to paycheck, I eat junk food, I’m fat, I rarely exercise, I’m not progressing the way I want in my career, I have troubles in my relationships and people can’t even understand me.

I’m just not Happy living this life…

What???!! You want me to be happy Now? Are you blind? Didn’t you hear what I just said? Do you want me to be unrealistic and deceive my own self? What is good about my life to be happy about? I’m not even close to where I want to be!

If I won’t be happy now, when I will be Happy? Well, when I achieve my dreams and goals. Yes Only when I do it…Uhhh, yeah of course I have achieved some stuff before, but it’s different now..I mean now I want different things. What I used to dream of yesterday no longer serves me today…

Yes I know I thought I was going to be happy when I’ve achieved those stuff but…you know what? Even after I did, I wasn’t that happy! I expected to be happier honestly but I just wasn’t…

Oh! Do you want to say that I keep telling myself I will be happy when…….but when I’ll do it, I will not feel that content just like before?

My mind is tricking me, isn’t it? Those stuff I want to achieve will not bring me happiness on their own..is this what you want to tell me?

There will always be something missing, yet there is always more to run after. Kind of a Mirage. An Illusion…

So linking happiness with achievement is an illusion. Happiness is independent. An independent reality. It needs no external resources to be fully experienced.

Postponing Happiness is the illusion. So it’s about taking the decision to be content and happy right now, right here!

Happiness is a Choice I shall make. A Choice I’m responsible for…


A Curse called Planning

Okay..it’s time for me now to admit some facts about the role of planning in my life:

Don’t get it wrong, I always loved planning stuff! Taking the time to reflect about something, putting ideas into a logical sequence, prioritizing, connecting the dots. One of the mind’s games that I really enjoy doing…but the story doesn’t end here.

I remember once in a job interview, an executive manager asked me the traditional question: What do you think your best skills are? And with a confident smile I answered: Planning. “Planning on its own is not a positive skill, unless it is translated into feasible effective actions.” That was his answer. And Reddish was the color of my face.

All goes well in the planning process (for me), but when it starts hitting the scheduling and action plan phases, my enthusiasm hits the ground! So the result is either starting acting upon the plan for a day, 2, and even a week, OR settling with watching my plan hanged on the wall just like a piece of art..and guess what with time passing by, you eventually don’t notice it anymore.

So it goes like that: Plans as long as they are written on a piece of paper look appealing. Something happens afterwards, when these written ideas need to be manifested! I always wondered about the reasons: lack of discipline, lack of belief, laziness, procrastination…although these ones seem to be more of symptoms rather than deep and true justifications.

The dilemma goes further when I start to feel trapped by my plans. I start to hate them, they just make me feel imprisoned and suck all the air out of the room. This strong feeling of being chained to whatever commitment does something to me. And achieving the plan (that I chose  for my own growth) turns out to be a struggle…