Tag Archives: frustration

The Paradox of Choice

I just finished watching this TED talk by Barry Schwartz, American Psychologist, author of the book “The Paradox of Choice, Why more is Less”.

What Barry is trying to say is that the more choices we have, the more expectations we have, the more hesitated we become, the more frustrated we feel, especially when we start to think that our choice was not the best one.

As an aggressive believer in Freedom of Choice, my paradigm shifted a little bit when I opened my eyes to this hypothesis, although it seems to be much more of a fact.

And what is more mysterious is that even when you have a clear set of criteria of what your choice shall be, you still feel uncomfortable when faced with various ones. The battle of choosing what is “perfect” turns into an intrinsic war and ends up with feelings of blame and guilt. “I could have done better” kind of statements pop up in your mind, you start wining and complaining…So, instead of embracing the choice, believing in it and turning it into a promising opportunity, you give it up. You lose it the moment you started the re-thinking process of the other choices…

This will lead us to a conclusion: Limit your choices, Eliminate the unnecessary. In other words Live Simply. A very challenging conclusion when it comes to practice in a world that believes “More” is equivalent to “Better”…


Give it a Meaning

I’ve come  to a conclusion that may help us change our behavior towards what we are unhappy about in our lives.

The Rational goes like this:

We keep doing things in  our lives  (job, studies, diet, exercising, general lifestyle..etc) that make us unhappy, whether it is because we are not convinced of doing them, or because we think we have no other options. Whatever the motive is, the result is whenever we do them , we find ourselves walking through the path of sadness and we unconsciously  empower the destructive negative emotions of victimization, lack of power, lack of influence, hopelessness…

Let’s assume that we still have to keep doing these stuff since we are not yet able to see other alternatives. What we ought to do then is to find a way to live in harmony with them. And actually we are generally very good at making this camouflage, pretending to embrace our life realities. Yet, soon the masks go down and the struggle remains.

So what if we try to fix this by diving deeper than the surface. What if we try to give a MEANING for whatever that we do in our lives.  I noticed that when we give a meaning to any action we take, it adds a sense of purpose, a signification. It adds another dimension, a value…Exploring the meaning behind our actions will truly help  us accept what we were not able to accept so far, and  it might eventually grant us the power to dare and make a change. It will put straight Why we do what we do and how long we want to carry this luggage with us.

And one final note, Getting the meaning out is a process that I believe needs Mind Flexibility. We must be willing to let go of our own paradigms, contemplate the situation from different perspectives, and finally link the dots.

Try it, you have nothing to lose anyway! and I will try it myself and report the results that I believe will make a difference…