But the universe had other plans for me, opening the door for a self discovery path. This is when I started to realize how shallow my judgments were. My thoughts about meditation were completely distorted. Enjoying a quiet mind was the simple message from this practice. And how a quiet mind can enhance the quality of your life.
So I found myself interested in practicing this exercise that would bring me peace of mind. Starting with 5 minutes of sitting in a quiet room with soothing music in the background, the experience was not so bad! Actually the mind didn’t like it that much, but something deeper (I don’t know what to call it) was enjoying the process…
One year later I got introduced to Transcendental Meditation. A program of 20 minutes practiced twice per day. I gladly welcomed it and was lucky to have gone through deep states of pure quietness. Yet the mind didn’t appear to have been enjoying as such and declared WAR. In this particular time I was facing some problems in my relationship where anxiety and stress took the leading roles. Meditating started to become a painful process where feelings of resistance and fear were exaggerated. Hiding away was my reaction, and I stopped meditating.
I released my mind struggle yet that “thing” inside of me that enjoyed the whole experience the very 1st time I tried it didn’t disappear. Actually it started to resonate in my heart begging me to give it another shot.
Several months passed by with me ignoring the voice. However I knew I’d come back. And I did. And it got better.
The secret was simply letting go off all my expectations, embracing the experience as it is even with the mind chatter. Today I meditate once per day for 20 minutes. And it feels good.